When Imposter Syndrome Strikes
Like most published authors, I’ve been asked, “Have you ever suffered from ‘imposter syndrome?’”
The short, short answer to that is… yes.
Good, ol’ trusty Merriam-Webster defines imposter syndrome (IS) as “a psychological condition that is characterized by persistent doubt concerning one’s abilities or accomplishments accompanied by the fear of being exposed as a fraud despite evidence of one’s ongoing success.”
Many of us, even after our first books debuted, and debuted well, still find ourselves looking behind us with this bewildered ‘who me?’ moment. I think part of this is baked into some authors’ personal pasts and journeys; however, it seems that trying for trad pub can engender this state. Heck, the indie pub world with its flooded marketplace can bring on the self-doubting, inner meanie voice.
So then, what do you do about it?
I feel that this answer is as different for every writer as there are flowers in existence. We all bloom in our own way, growing however we may. For some, the road to being a published author is easier for some people than for others, but even when it appears straightforward, it’s usually not. We all have our inner voices/demons to battle.
We forge ahead through community. As a group, we understand the trials, pitfalls, and victories involved in this life. It helps defeat those feelings of isolation, which exacerbate IS, when you have a circle that intrinsically understands about rejections, doubt, and feelings of hesitancy. Finding other writers to share with (and I don’t mean just critique groups, I mean friends who are writers), to hug, to share, and to celebrate with is crucial. Being able to talk about the battles we face lead to those “Aw yeah! Me too! That sucked,” interactions. Imaginary friends are great and all, if they weren’t, we wouldn’t be doing this; however, at some point, we have to step away from the screen, or notebook, and breathe.
That’s another way for authors to beat back IS: fresh air and/or exercise. My besties are chuckling about this and gently saying, “Physician heal thyself.” Yeah, yeah, sometimes, advice is easier to give than to do. However, when I have taken the time to do this, I honestly do feel better.
How visual cues can help
When I can’t get outside (it’s Western New York, kids; it was -7* F a few mornings ago. Ta hell with dat!), another thing that helps me take myself seriously, supportively as a writer is the visual cues of my covers. It’s a sort of shorthand for me that says, hey, look what you’ve done! Mind you, I didn’t make my covers; there are tremendously talented cover artists who have done that. However, these images remind me of the story behind the pretty picture.
When all else fails, there’s music
Depending on where one is in the process of writing, there isn’t a dynamic cover to ooh and ahh over, so what then? I use playlists for characters and books. That’s also a great way for me to immerse myself in the world that I’m trying to create. Since I see the scenes in my personal brain-theater, music helps underscore what I’m watching. Having access to that engages me so fully that there’s no room left to doubt what I’m doing. I’m sucked in, just like I would be when I’m reading someone else’s work.
If I’m standing there either with a book in one hand and stirring dinner in the pan with the other, it’s a damn good book. Likewise, if there’s a notebook or my iPad on the counter while stuff’s simmering on the stove–it’s a damn good book. So keep trying, keep believing in yourself, and find your writer tribe. There are a lot of damn good books to write and consume.
